What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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