What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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Catholicism.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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9/11.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops