A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Wanna hear a joke? women's rights. jaye clenton is a fag.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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book 'em danno

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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