Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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A man walks into a bar Ouch

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What do you call a black man riding a plane? A black man riding a plane.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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24

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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book 'em danno

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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