What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops