Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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6

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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How do you save Africa. Put a rash of bacon in and envelope.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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Q: What's the difference between black and white? A: A lot...

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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what's black, white, and red all over? a penguin stuck in a blending machine

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops