You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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