how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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im a dragon, no im not

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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