What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

2 Penises

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops