I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Hail Heetluh

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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a kid named austin walks into school and gets kicked in the nuts byyy

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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