Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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I'm Batman.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops