who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

lewis ya baggy fuck

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

yo momma so fat. that shes fat

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

I'm Batman.

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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