Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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