I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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