What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Why did the dog die? He was old

what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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