What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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kesha is a virgin.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why did the little boy drop his lollipop? He got hit by a car.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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A frenchman, an englishman, and an italian walk into a bar. They proceed to drink their beer in silence, because they can't understand each other one bit.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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