Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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42

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

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Rebecca Black

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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