penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Rebecca Black

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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