Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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oooh look a banshee

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whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

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Why did the lady have a birthmark on her leg? Because she came out of her mother's leg.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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30cm = 0,3meters

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42

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops