Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

7+5=12

roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

these are shit

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

What can hitler cook well Steak

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

A dog was barking at a tree

Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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