A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

knock knock whos there? nobody

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

Female rights.

Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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