A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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