An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Did you hear about the man who discovered the secret to making women happy? Neither have I.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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