Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops