Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops