What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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baskets

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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I am a women

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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The government

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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Carrot fingers

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops