Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Nick Cannon

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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the holocaust

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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A women's opinion.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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