Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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why do black people hate whites? their is no light in the ghetto

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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