- Anti Joke

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

i like it in the mouth

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Jamie stegman has no life he is a nerd while his sister is giving him a z-j while jacob comes in and starts rubbing the lamp and then the crazy man ate the orange then farted in all of there face. NeonFAILsky xoxo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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