Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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