Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

TELL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops