Netflix and chill

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops