what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Robin, get in the car!

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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