Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

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Walnut

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Sex education in Texas,

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Justin Bieber's mother.

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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kaite is dumb that is true

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they choose to. this is a free country, where people are free to travel as they please, despite what their sexual orientation may be. Jerk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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see ya

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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