What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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woman..parallel parking

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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If a prisoner got one visitor who would he ask to see An Eskimo

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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