Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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"It's a blimp, it's a hot air balloon!" "No wait, it's your mom."

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destiny

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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bacon

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Wanna hear a joke? Denver Broncos.

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops