why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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You're a frog

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

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A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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