Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

69

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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