Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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So does Blake

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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whats funnier than 24? 25

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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