What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops