why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

Guess what? AIDS!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

A guy was beet by his wife.

Gay's

How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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