There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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I just drank a cola.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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the holocaust

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Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

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People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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