What's the difference between a duck?

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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Women's Rights

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops