What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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willie revilame

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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women's rights.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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;iub

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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