What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy say to his friend? nothing, they were both deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Justin Bieber's mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops