Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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