Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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