Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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What did the black man say to the white man standing next to him? Hi

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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