How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Where's my baby??

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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