I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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this is not an anti joke

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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