your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

69- by Adam Chebali

balls

USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

purple pickles

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

What does water smell like? water.

oooh look a banshee

Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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