What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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a horse nibbled a baby

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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